Glorious Grandmas
This award season in Hollywood, one of the most talked about film offerings of the year is a multilayered story of the best kind called, Minari. The movie is a slice of life encompassing big dreams, fresh starts, priorities, significance, self-image, sacrifice, and multi generational family dynamics. With all of that, Minari is sure to be relatable in some way to most people.
What struck me on a personal level was the portrayal of the grandmother. In fact, the film is dedicated “To all our Grandmas”...and with good reason.
In a recent podcast I was asked to name my mentors. At the top of the list was my maternal grandma, Helen LaRocca. Much like the grandma in Minari, she wasn’t necessarily the warm fuzzy type, cooing over me or smothering me with kisses; she left that to my grandfather. On the other hand, she could play a mean game of poker or occasionally, the slots in Vegas…and she seemed to nearly always win. On the rare occasion when she did loose, I may have heard a few choice words! Suffice it to say, I could totally relate when David, the young boy who is the central figure in the film exclaims, “You’re not a grandma! Grandma’s don’t cuss, grandma’s bake cookies”!
Although she never baked cookies either, I must say my Grandma LaRocca was a marvelous cook. But more importantly, she was a shining example of sacrifice and well-placed priorities. She was a strong woman who chose responsibility over self-focus. Losing her mother at the age of 3, she eventually became one of the oldest children of a blended family of eleven. During the Great Depression she left school and worked to add income for the family. When she married my grandfather at the young age of 19, they secretly eloped and kept their marriage a secret so she could continue to contribute in helping her father support her younger siblings.
Years later, when my parents moved our family from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to Hollywood, California, I witnessed my grandma, much like the grandma in the Minari movie, leave her hometown, her extended family, and her friends, and relocate across the country to be close to her daughter and lend a hand with the grandkids.
As her granddaughter, I became a major beneficiary of that sacrifice.
The details of the journey that accompanied my relationship with my grandmother are too numerous to mention, but without a doubt, she was one of my best friends. I was blessed to have Grandma LaRocca and her wonderful input in my life until she was 102 years old!
As time went on, the importance of the role of being a grandparent was forever pressed into my heart and mind.
Today, I am fortunate to say that I still have a wonderful example of a loving grandma in my life. My own mother, Katherine, is grandma to 19 grandkids including my two boys! Her contributions into their lives and desire to extend herself to them inspires me to do the same.
Now it’s my turn. Having become a Grandmother for the first time in 2020, the joy and responsibilities of this precious relationship are mine.
I can only hope and pray to do as well as those who came before me.
The movie Minari did what all good stories do. It got to me. It touched me emotionally and reminded me of the lasting significance we can have in our relationships to one another. For me, the relationship with my Grandmother was truly significant.
If I have persevered through challenges, it’s because she was instrumental in teaching me to be strong. If I have sacrificed or resisted excess it’s, in part, because of her example of the value of simplicity. If I have valued stability over emotion, or chosen family over career, I can proudly point to my grandma, Helen Shady LaRocca, and say, “thank you.”
What are you doing today, that your grandkids will thank you for tomorrow?
“Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged.” Proverbs 17:6