What Are You Wearing?

My timing was lousy. All I wanted to do was make some quick returns but I’d forgotten it was back to school week, so of course the mall was packed with kids and their parents. I wondered earlier why I could barely find a parking spot! I was tempted to turn around and go home, but I had to stick it out and get my returns made before it was too late.

The store I was in is a favorite of little girls (and big girls too). This day it was teeming with families of young girls and boys as well who were right around elementary school age. They were excitedly dragging their parents around begging for a new keychain to hang on their backpacks or the latest t-shirt with a trending image or slogan. The store is always busy, but this day was over the top. It felt like Disneyland! There was a buzz in the air in anticipation of seeing old friends and making new ones, as a new school year was about to begin. The joyous atmosphere was contagious and the smiles on every face, including mine, made it worth the long search for a parking spot. 

Then, one more person walked in and everything changed.

Dressed in a form fitting black sweat suit, a young woman casually strolled onto the scene. The bold white capital letters, which sprawled across her clothing spelled out the four-letter f word over and over, covering her entire sweat suit from head to toe. With her slow, arrogant walk throughout the store, she violated every eye and mind, especially the children’s.

I watched as people came to a standstill upon seeing her. Parents tried averting their eyes while pulling their children in different directions as the smiles faded from their faces. Many of them simply left the store. It was almost surreal how the fun filled chatter turned to deafening silence.

I’m sure you’ve had moments that start your heart pounding and mind racing. For me, this was one of them. I wanted someone to say something, but did it have to be me? I was angry and was afraid of what might come out of my mouth. I began to pray knowing it would calm and guide me.

The answer came quick and clear. I couldn’t just walk away.  It was no longer just a matter of right and wrong, it was also a matter of responsibility. 

As she walked deeper into the store and further from the crowd I approached her and her tag along friend. (It’s difficult for me to write this without getting angry again.) Quietly, but firmly, I told her she had no business wearing clothes with that word on them anywhere, anytime, let alone in a place crowded with children the weekend before back to school week.

The dialogue that followed would be difficult for me to share in full, but I will tell you that her sad reply was to accuse me of using this same cuss word while bringing up my own children. Although my heart was still pounding, I calmly assured her I had not, and that no child should be subjected to that. Then came the most revealing response on her part. In a defiant voice she asked me, “Why do you care anyway, your children aren’t even here with you.”

Again, I stayed calm and explained to her that I cared deeply about other children, not just my own. I told her that caring about others was how we make a difference in the world. I told her that her decision to clothe herself in profanity was hurting others instead of helping others, especially children. I said that she was also hurting herself and that one day, I hoped she would look back on this decision and be sorry for it.

As we define our actions, our actions define us.

Aside from talking to someone with a swear word all over their outfit, one of the surprising aspects of the moment was that she seemed to be listening to what I was saying. As this young woman and her friend finally walked away, I could only hope that God, through his loving kindness (which far supersedes anything I might have said), would use this encounter to change their lives.

True Confession ~

It’s been four weeks since this encounter. I wrote about it but then hesitated to release it. I never want to sound judge mental. My intent is not to place myself on higher ground than anyone else, only God belongs there. So I almost didn’t post this article. But then it happened again!

This past Sunday I was out with friends. This time it was a young man clothed in sweats with the same profanity from head to toe. The friends I was with were as distressed as I was on seeing it. We were in a restaurant on a Sunday afternoon that’s popular with young families. Again, children were violated. This second occurrence compelled me to share these incidents with you.

Over the last few of weeks since the initial experience, many scriptures have come to mind. The one that stood out the most is God’s beautiful directive to “put on love.”

“And above all these things, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

Colossians 3:14

This directive mostly addresses our attitude as we journey through life, but through these real life stories I have shared, I hope you see how every decision we make has impact and carries responsibility with it, including what we literally clothe ourselves in.

All of our choices send a message as to who we are and what we believe.

Sadly, many who never receive this kind of loving instruction end up wearing anger, pain, and disappointment leaving a wake of destruction in their path. As the saying goes, “Hurt people hurt people.” This begs the questions, how can you and I be helpful to those who are hurting? How can you respond as a culture-changing missionary?

Allow me to share three thoughts of how to equip yourself to operate in a culture that seems to be spiraling out of control, and help you face an increasingly hostile world, without hostility.

First: Make sure that YOU put on love each day! If you are not clothed or walking in love, how can you lead others in that direction?

Second: Know God’s Word. Have specific scriptures solidly committed to memory that would be meaningful to others. Then trust in God to speak to their hearts.

Third: See these moments through the eyes of Christ. Many times, what you see as something that throws off your day may very well be a life situation that God has assigned specifically for you. Stay alert to these as you walk in love.

In short, be prepared, and remember that God NEVER gives up on anyone.

Are you clothed in love today?

“Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.”

 Colossians 3:12-14